We're already gearing up for the Christmas party (though I might not be part of it, if I've got a new job by then). Regardless, Sarah got us to fill out 'Wish Lists' of things that we all might like to have at the Christmas Auction. We do an auction every month, with things like gift certificates for the Spaghetti Factory and the movies. But the Christmas auction will be BIG! I wished for a Nintendo Wii and a basket full of wine and cheese and chocolate. But you've got to see this list -(this is from Justin, one of the production workers):

Bottle of Gin
30 Case of Molson
Strippers
Ounce of Kush
Canuck Tickets
HD TV
Hot-tub full of Playboy Bunnies
No Dish Days for a Year

This guy cracks me up. He's not all there, but he's got a wicked sense of humor. He's once asked me, upon hearing hearing that I lived in Japan, whether I had ever "encountered Godzilla".

Excitement of the day: we got a new fax machine in the office (exactly like the old one, in fact) and we played with the plastic bags, putting them on our heads like stupid white flat chef hats. Don’t worry, mom. We were careful. No one suffocated... this time.

Here is a list of several things that I want to do. That I’m going to do. No point in feeling divided about what I should do, what I shouldn’t. No point in shoulds at all. There aren’t even any priorities, not really… I figure everything will happen within the time period that is meant to happen within. Maybe these are those “Autumn New Year’s Resolutions I was talking about...

* Learn more about celebrating Japanese holidays (loved the sense of consistent ongoing and upcoming rituals when I was living there, don’t feel so connected to the Catholic rituals that used to have a lot of meaning for me)

* Find a church/spiritual group that jives with my own whacked sense of values and goodness and compassion…I want to look further into Buddhism. Too many Christians (not all, mind you) don’t walk the talk, and I’m not willing to rejoin that flock.

* Buy a laptop computer with wireless internet.

* Start working on my CELTA pre-task. Ok, this one really is a priority.

* Own a dog! Or—we’ll start with living somewhere that I can own a dog…yeah. Maybe… it’s prissy, but I really like Papillions. And wiener dogs. Big dogs typically have better attitudes, but they eat a lot. And poop a lot… But if I get a little one, I promise I won’t dress it in ridiculous outfits. Except maybe for Halloween.

* Get a new (non-dead) camera. Go on photo-walks. I got this idea from Maggie Ann (http://mostsincerely.squarespace.com) but I realize that I used to do it all the time as a hobby when I lived in Tokushima. It was a way to really get intimate with the shapes and colours of my surroundings, instead of just taking them for granted.

* Move to a place that has an ocean nearby. And a bathtub. I’m sooooo tired of only showering all the time… it feels incomplete.

* Build a Japanese style house and garden, of my own design, from scratch. (With help, of course).

* Go to the Burning Man Festival.

* Put a bid in for painting that huge Centennial mural in my home town. That would be so much fun!

* Actually thoroughly follow all of the advice that my Naturopath has given to me.

* Laugh more. And more! AND MORE! I can do this by hanging out with more funny people. You know who you are, and you know you want to hang out sometime. Call me. (^-~)

* Pay for a haircut the next time instead of doing it myself. Knowing what I want and being able to perform the actions to get what I want – in this case, the two do not jive!

* Live abroad again.

* Buy some new socks and underwear. Get rid of some old socks and underwear, and shoes and books and knick-knacks that clutter up my life as opposed to filling it with happy memories. As much as I like having new things, I like having few things even better.

This… is a good beginning.

I noticed I said 'crunchy' more than once in my previous post. Must have been my buzzword that day.

Tachi has been and gone. What a whirlwind weekend! He arrived Friday, 11am. We checked him in, went for lunch at a Greek restaurant (the FIRST TIME he ate Greek food!), walked along the Beach across from Vanier Park, and then took one of the mini-ferries to Granville Island.

Taichi was amazed by the following: The fact that all the cars drive with their lights on during the day ("for safety," I said). The flashing 'stop' hand signal at the crosswalk (he thought it looked like someone waving and beckoning. In Japan, the 'don't walk' signal is a picture of a figure standing still). Fruit and veggies in the market, loosely and freely piled up (in Japan, everything is wrapped in singles and pairs and threes).

Everything was amazing to him. I was so glad to be a part of someone seeing Vancouver with freah eyes-- enthralled with funny things that I take for granted, like streets with names and gay pride on Davie Street and souvlaki.

It made me miss Japan a bit, too. OK, a LOT. I felt the old inner conflict as to whether or not I had made the right desicion when I came back to Canada. The feeling didn't last, though. Mostly because I am moving forward right now, rather than standing stock-still out of fear of moving in the wrong direction. I'll be in school in less than a month, and following that I'll be teaching English again. That makes me feel SO great.

Additionally, things are finally starting to move with my website. I dropped my camera last month and killed it quite dead, so I decided that instead of waiting until I can afford a new one to take pictures of my artwork with... what can I do? I gave my sketchbooks over to Amy at Fresh Marketing, and she is scanning them in. I am also in touch with Ann at myartspace.com (did I get that right? dunno) and I am going to an info session with them this Saturday. They have capabilities for scanning my larger artworks in. I'm stoked!

I have to look for alternative means of income at this time. Nathan wants to support me while I go to school, but his income doesn't really pack the punch we need. I appreciate his thoughtfullness, but it's clear that I will incur debt. So-- instead of standing still, what can I do? Sell artwork. Find out what the government is doing with my GST cheques. Etc. There's money out there. I just have to attract it. It'll be easy... I feel magnetic!

Back to Taichi. We had fun. Lots of it. Kat joined us on Saturday and we went to the Blodel Conservatory and Queen Elizabeth park, and then out to Aldergrove for Bekka's birthday party. Sunday he and I took the ferry to Victoria and saw the Snowbirds, a bicycle race, the Government buildings, the Empress hotel, and the Butchart Gardens. We utterly exhausted ourselves.

Now, I rest, and gear up for the next big thing. Love to you all, wonderful readers!

Namaste

September, as far as I’m concerned, is the time to make New Year’s Resolutions. Because this IS the REAL New Year. Crayons, crunchy leaves, cool breezes, bright sun. Crunchy apples. I don’t even LIKE apples all the rest of the year, but in September… yummmmmm.

I wan to adhere to a higher quality of interaction with people on a daily basis. I understand that our society frowns upon open displays of enthusiasm (unless you are an actor in a Joe FRESH commercial) but I am not going to allow my enthusiasm to be stymied. I also understand that we are judged by our actions, while we tend to judge ourselves by our intentions. These are New Year’s RESOLUTIONS, not INTENTIONS, so I guarantee ACTION.

I resolve to make the world brighter whenever I can. I resolve to kick pessimism to the curb. I resolve to be open to the shift and growth within, and not crush it out of fear of the unknown.

And now I resolve to get back to work, so that when I leave A-1 Pallet in October, I leave it better for having been here.

It’s HOT in this A-1 Pallet office. Eightch-Oh-Tee, Hawt. It’s been one of those days; everyone’s head has been down. We’ve all been working. There are no blinds on the window behind me; my back is cooking, my shoes are off, my forearms are slipping around in the sweat they have made on the desk.

Then I remember: my brother’s a firefighter. I don’t KNOW what hot IS.

* * * * * * * * * * *

My spot in the CELTA program has been verified, and I started fishing immediately for a couch/corner/closet to crash on/in for a month. I think I may have found a place to stay in downtown Vancouver… I just have to sort out some details. But it looks as though I may be able to pay my rent in drawings and stories with animals as the main characters. Cake-walk!

I’m so stoked… This next chapter of my life is unfolding as perfectly as a giant pink peony.

I did it. I think I'm in. Exhale...

I grossly miscalculated the amount of time it would take to get from Aldergrove to downtown Vancouver for the CELTA interview, and I was a horrifying half-hour late. I was only just embarking upon the Port Mann bridge at the moment the interview was about to begin-- upon hearing the time on the radio (no clock in the car, no watch, no cell phone) I came unhinged and bawled -- and I mean loud hiccupping sobs with snot and tears streaming-- for the entire span of the bridge. I decided to go in anyway. The worst that could happen would be that I would get kicked out before I began. In the grand scheme of things, that's not so bad. Snuffling and strangely cleansed, I drove calmly into Vancouver, parked, found the school, and was accepted as a belated participant into the group interview. And ultimately, accepted into the program (I'm pretty sure).

Nathan is pleased for me, proud, even. I am too. Just a little drained after yesterday. I still have to get ahold of mom and dad to share the news... I wish they'd hook up their answering machine! I think I'll need to find somewhere in Vancouver to stay for the month-long course so that the commute doesn't destroy me (financially and physically/emotionally)!

Interview for the CELTA program today. Wish me luck.

Sarah’s mom Donna is reading Eckhardt Tolle’s book, “The Power of Now”. I read it a few years ago, but I think it might be a good time to revisit it. It’s sticky reading, but it produces excellent personal results. Namely as sense of calm and acceptance for “WHAT IS.” Whatever it is.

We were talking about the book over lunch yesterday. Sarah didn’t come home for lunch yesterday, and I went on my own (usually we go for lunch at Sarah’s mom and dad’s house together—isn’t that cool? Spoiled is what I am). Something she got out of the book had to do with why we are so creative and ‘free’ in school, but find ourselves stymied once we enter the so-called ‘real world’. You know—the world of jobs and bills and relationships and responsibilities and… so on.

In school, the tasks are defined. What we do and don’t do is clear, distinct, simple. Between those spaces, our minds are free to enjoy the creative activities that we are engaged in. We grow easily, unabashedly. Outside of school, we suddenly have a lot more undefined responsibilities. How do you bake a potato and raise a family and pay taxes and balance chequebooks and find satisfaction in your career? There is no teacher telling us how or grading us on these things. We think hard about these things. The harder you think about something, the less likely you are actually be engaged in doing it.

Which is why I don’t talk about my artwork anymore. I don’t like to talk about it. If I’m talking and thinking and puzzling and planning… then I’m definitely not creating. And our egos… they love to plan. And plan, plannity-plan-plan plan. This amounts to the tenant of “Ready, Aim, aaaaiim… aaaaaaaaaaaaim…”

Me, I want the “Fire”.

BANG!

These are exciting times! I called the school I am interested in attending on Friday to see if they had any room left in the October session. A few spots remained; if I got my application in by Monday, there was a chance I could get in to an upcoming interview session. I put my application in yesterday (Monday)—and lo and behold, I have an interview this week!

Money will be tight, close to nonexistent, in fact. Surprisingly, I’m OK with this. It feels good to be going back to school on my own steam (or really, on my own debt). Besides, I can almost double my income with the jobs I can get with the certification I am going for. So debt doesn’t scare me. Much.

I feel like I’ve already got it, like I’m already in.

The weekend was jam-packed and fun. Nate and I travelled down to Everett, WA on Friday evening and spent the evening in a cheap-ass motel that had fleas and a mattress that sagged. We watched ‘Titanic’ on the tiny TV and ate American junk food (spicy Cheetos and Cherry Coke). The next day we went south to Bothell for the Koi show that Nate has been obsessing about for the past two months. He was a little disappointed that we didn’t enter any of our fish. (He had been prepping them for the show, making sure they were nice and shiny and happy and all of that, when one after another of them came down with carp colds and bloody lips and split fins and all of the myriad of koi maladies that I didn’t even know existed.) Anyway, he barely budged from the show tanks for the whole day, and even bought two more fish. Surprise, surprise. I explored the cute little ‘Country Village’ where the koi show was taking place – kind of like a themed outdoor mall/park. A mini steam train would chug through the parking lot, packed full of passive-looking kids and grandmas. I looked at hats and miniature porcelain mice and old-fashioned candy and antique furniture. I ate a gyro and a giant shortbread cookie covered in orange cream icing. I watched a glass blower teaching a little girl how to blow glass. I went back to the car, put the seat back and read my book. It was a nice day. The weather was great, and the drive home was smooth and easy.

Sunday we went to Wreck Beach. Everyone knows what happens at Wreck Beach! Body surfing in the ice-cold Pacific waters, body-watching (hee hee hee), and the covert purchase of a blue freezie with rum in it from a topless redhead. Fun for all!

Ummmm. Rummy freezie. What I want to know is—how did she get the rum inside?

Good weekend. Happy days.

I have been seriously examining my private journal from the time I spent in Japan. What surprises me in retrospect is how rosy I have painted the entire 'Japan' picture since returning to Canada last year.

The truth was/is that I was lonely, conflicted, unbalanced and uncertain for much of the time. I felt like I was living in a patriarchal alien zoo. I drank too much, neglected my health, ignored my creative impulses. Which isn't to say that I'm sorry I did it-- I'm just feeling less yearning to go back to that time now. And that's awesome.

I am so glad that I will be leaving my twenties in a matter of months! I already feel the certainty and empowerment that getting another decade under the belt brings.