An average day:

Wake up. Roll around on the futon for a while. Sniff the futon. Wonder if the weather is clear enough so that the futon can hang out and air on the balcony for a while.
Get up. Open the sliding door that connects my air-conditioned bedroom/living/dining room to my sticky-hot hallyway-bathroom-kitchen-foyer-closet. Sniff the shower-bath-toilet. Wonder why it never smells clean, even though I scrub it every other day. Shower; look at the waterproof hiragana chart stuck to the shower-bath-toilet wall. Hope that a new letter sticks permanantly in my brain. Dry off. Use a sparing amount of sunscreen from home, and then coat up the rest of my body in the suspicious 'Whitening UV' formula from Japan. There's no UV number on the bottle, and I've heard that some of the whitening products have bleach in them...
Dress. Look in fridge: tofu, natto, soggy cucumbers, condiments. Consider options briefly. Decide to get an onigiri and an iced coffee from a combini (convienience store). Step out of apartment into the wall of wet heat and insect noise. Carefully look about for the landlady who berated me in Japanese for 5 minutes about leaving through the side door before leaving through the side door. Make sure the side door is properly closed, just in case she's hiding in the bushes across the street.
Ride my famous blue Crispy downtown. Pretend not to notice the old guys who stare as though a large purple rabbit is similtaneously burping flames and doing a handstand as it rides past them. Go to the bank. The bank staff yell a cheery 'Irashaimasen!' as the ATM says the same. Work as quickly as possible, as the ATM beeps maniacally if I pause for more than 2 seconds to scratch your nose or think about budgets. Go to Big Brothers, eat the mini-special (soupsandwichsaladfriesdessertcoffee) and gossip with Norm, Keith or Brad. Or chit-chat with whoever is sitting next to me. If the person is Japanese, the chit-chat will amount to: where are you from, how long have you been in Japan, how long will you stay in Japan, do you like Japan, and if we're feeling really friendly, we might progress to animal noises. "Cows say Moo. Cats say Meow. Dogs say Woof. How about here?" "Cows say Mo. Cats say Niao. Dogs say Wan." (And my recent discovery-- I knew rabbits go 'Pion-Pion-Pion' when they bounce in Japan, but when I told my friends they go 'Boing-Boing-Boing' in English, they cracked up. Why? Because 'Boing-Boing' is the sound for large breasts in Japan. Yes. Breasts have sound effects here...) If the person is English speaking, the conversation will be exactly the same, except we might compare the policies of our Eiken schools instead of 'Cock-a-doodle-do' and 'Ko-ki-ko-kou'. Pay. Leave.
Check email and post a blog and/or go to work. Meet the student who was thrilled by the public trash system in Canada-- garbage bins on the STREET? What an amazing concept! Teach the kindergartners who hug your legs and pet your hair and then spit on your hand instead of giving you a high-five. Become enthralled by people, sights, sounds, food, experience. Discover a new path, or a secret alleyway. Realize over and over that there is no such thing as an average day.



This took me long enough, but here is my former co-workers blog address: http://shonaoconnell.blogspot.com/ Shona has since been to Europe, and is now back in Australia... but if you go to her archives, and look at February, there are some hopelessly outdated pictures of me and some of the people I mention in this blog.