Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter Sunday started gray, rainy, and disgusting. Check that-- it was ME who was gray, runny and disgusting, as Aaron & Jenny's wee ones (the kids upstairs in the house that I am currently freeloading in) have been wiping their noses on me for the past few days. I am disappointed to be sick again, because (even though I didn't write about it) I had a pretty nasty cold in Hawaii, less than a month ago. Come ON. I don't get sick. Unless I'm not dealing with emotions very well... which might be... is the case.

I'm not happy here in Nanaimo. There. I said it. And I said it last night to Nathan, amongst a bunch of other wailings and moanings and complainings. And Nathan, in all of his calm, unruffled glory, said exactly the right thing: "Go to the Okanagan." One thing I love (and hate) about Nathan is that he never gets very emotional-- he always stays calm, sets me straight, sends me on my way. I think that in the two years we have been together, he has perhaps been outwardly angry with me once. At worst, he might simmer a little over bad drivers on the road, but otherwise-- he's a windless pond. He truly is a fine human being.

Anyway, I don't think I'll be back to Nanaimo. I think this is exodus. My mom and dad will be up through Nanaimo in about 2 weeks, as they make their slow (retired) way home from Victoria-- I'll probably catch a ride with them. I'm going to give Nathan my car... he can drive it 'til it dies, or sell it, or do whatever he thinks will get him ahead the most. We've already talked about what I'm going to do with my engagement ring (Nate said I can keep it) and the wedding rings we had purchased for the wedding that never happened (we both want to keep our respective rings for sentimental value-- they are silver and gold, with native killer whale designs on them, as that's Nathan's clan). I'll plan to stay with mom and dad for the summer anyway... it's been a long time since I've had an Okanagan summer. I don't really know what's going on with my life, and embarrassed to admit it. But at least I'm admitting it.

"And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should." (from the Desiderata by Max Ehrmann)

1 comment:

Lovely Leslie said...

((Hugs)) I wish these were real hugs, I think you need some after this dreary weekend, maybe thinks will turn around for you in the OK