Do you recall what I was saying about cyclical unhappiness? Yeah, well it's called PMS. Go figure. How'd I manage to forget about that?
The days are warming and floating by me like blossom petals; the grass is thick and long, dandelions are popping up in the lawn, trees are bursting into frothy clouds of pink and white.... and I am served my seasonal reminder about what is good in life, here, now.
As for the floating days... well, out of fear of making a misstep, I often don't make any at all. Like a rock-climber frozen on a ledge. If forward looks too difficult, impassable, and back is unthinkable, then one just stays put. But what I found out from my recent actual experience rock climbing (yes, I did it, it was awesome!) is, if I just grip on to one spot and don't move forward or back, if I overthink, I wear myself out just clinging, and I end up falling anyway. Better to make that lunge towards the next hold, tenuous though it may seem. Ahhh, rock climbing euphemisms.
So-- about taking that lunge. I have an application in at a local bubble-tea shop, though the waitress looked at my experience suspiciously (ESL teacher, art supply store clerk, research & development/ office assistant... doesn't add up to "Winning Bubble Tea Barista" applicant, I guess.) I have another application in at the local university for a position that may be wayyyy over my head... but maybe shooting high is better than shooting low? And my resume is in the hands of an ESL teacher recruiting company, and I got an email today that they had submitted on application on my behalf to a school in Vietnam. Oh, and I'm still waiting to hear about that mural that I want to do in Kaleden... that will be a perfect summer gig, so that's the one I'm really holding my breath for right now.
I miss my mom and dad... I haven't seen them since... early December? Holy smokes! Time flies! But they'll be coming to Vancouver Island shortly for a surprise birthday for my twin cousins, who will be turning 50 this year. I'll travel down to Victoria to meet them, and hopefully join up with some old friends in the area as well. We'll see how it goes. I say 'friends' lightly, because as much as we're in touch on Facebook... well, we all know what a bunch of hooey Facebook is in terms of propelling actual human interaction. I think my brother might come too-- I sure hope so! I can't remember the last time I saw him... oh, mom and dad's party last summer. That's too long. I can't wait to hear what stories he's brought home from Africa!
I suppose I ought to get back to working away on those calligraphy projects... one down, three to go. It's nice out, so I'm working outside, sitting at Jenny's beautiful new outdoor patio set, with the grass sliding around my ankles, and insects landing in my fruit punch. It's the best.
Take your vitamin D, folks.
x
Endrene
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2 comments:
Ne,
You make me feel normal. Not by comparison, by inclusion. I go through ups and downs in my moods. And just when I start to think that I should worry, and consider medical intervention, a friends musings remind me that everyone goes through mood variations.
Ah, real spring. Still very little of that, here. My lawn is still struggling to be truly green.
I'd say enjoy the weather, but I'm sure you already are!
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