It's overcast today, cool. Spotlets of rain are starting to pounce into the dust of the yard here and there. It smells like the fibreglass guys next door are busy-- it's a poisonous stench. I won't miss that when I'm gone from here.

I feel a little overwhelmed lately, with emotions that shift like an undertow, invisible to the people around me.

Autumn is like this. Always changing, often unpredictably.

I went for a walk as soon as the lunch bell went. I need more alone time than I have been getting, especially as I am about to launch back into the nonstop social melee of school again. I thought about a few things; about how Nathan is determined to move to Nanaimo, and how I support him on this decision, not really knowing what it means for ‘us’. About the job in Tokushima that Bubu has emailed me about. About the fact that I have been criticized quite a lot in the past few years for ‘being in my head’ too much… when actually, it’s quite a nice place to be. My head is the place that produces my artwork, my dreams and my plans. I like going there, being there.

But I guess I have to come back from it, too. It’s not a place to stay. It’s not a place of actuality and accomplishment. What was that quote I read recently… “We tend to judge ourselves by our intentions, while the world judges us by our actions”. In fact, I think I put that quote in this blog already last month.

I guess it’s pertinent right now.