One of the things I suddenly craved today was a cup of the perfectly roasted, toasted and hot-hot-hot crafted cups of coffee that I could invariably find at any Mr. Donuts in Japan (Or 'Misdo' as they were cutely shortened to). I suppose these random cravings are the backlash of a traveler's life; I have one friend who refuses to eat any Thai food because nothing can measure up to real Thai food, another who hates the smell of flowers because of the instant aching desire he feels to be in Hawaii when he smells them.

I'm getting emails every other day from Japanese friends, innocently asking me when I'll be back, and how long I plan to stay... I can't really answer, so I dodge the question and type merrily about the weather or the wildlife I've seen in BC since my return. I don't doubt that it was time to leave Japan. I do doubt whether I've really 'come home'.

Fehhh. Let's get to the core of this matter.

Jobs, work, careers. That's what's occupying about 50% of the 10% of the part of the brain that I actually use these days. (The other 50% is busy with Misdo coffee, my Speedboarding boyfriend, oatmeal cookies, Facebook, money, oil changes, The Secret, burning the Man, laundry...) I have an interview today. I'm feeling far too cocky about it. Like-- I'm fab-u-lous. Who wouldn't want me working for them? And if they don't want me-- well, that's OK too. I've got this sort of lackadaisical belief in serendipity, and I envision a jillion open doors before me. I trust that eventually, I'm going to walk through the right one. It's just this hanging back, this study of the doors and their myriad possibilities, this sense of homelessness-- that's what's getting to me, if anything is.

I'm not really hurting for cash, nor for a place to lay my head at the end of the day. I've been abundantly blessed with family, friends and support groups (thank you, thank you!) who have opened their doors (and their refrigerators) unto me as I go through this gypsy phase. I'm endlessly grateful that these people are giving me what I really need; time to figure out what it is that I really want. But here's the question for you, dear reader: Do You Know What You Really Want? I know I want to be happy, and luckily, I can be happy no matter what I'm doing, where I am, who I am with. It truly is my great talent, my best habit. But when I try to define beyond that-- What Do I Want-- I'm not sure where to go with it. Am I looking for material things, or ephemera? I mean-- what is there really beyond happiness that I could desire? So now-- is the question before me-- What Do I Want That Will Bring The Greatest Happiness to the Most People?

By gum, I think that's got it.